Crash

Today (technically) started when i woke up at 6:30 for a bible study with my father and brother before they left. we were talking about not letting things become distractions to us and how we should focus fully on following God. I really didnt think it would apply to me very much. I went back to sleep as is my custom and woke up at 10:10. that was rather strange considering i usually wake up around 9. I checked my email and got ready for a good day, full of school, and fun. i got on facebook and my day changed. i got a wall post from megan that made me very concerned. it took several hours for her to get in contact with me but when she did.... my day changed again. Our big thing before she left crashed to the ground while i watched. the concert we had been planning for a month at least... our hour long phone call about it, getting more excited my the minute... just fell. It left me in a state i havent felt in a long time. usually if something changes i can just adapt to it and move on without a problem. but i couldnt focus on anything. i tried 3 different classes in school, couldnt pay attention in any of them, i tried playing poker on facebook and lost pitifully (worse than usual). I blasted music through my head to get it to stop but it just stayed.
im doing better now, at least in that respect.
my parents confronted me tonight about my school situation... just when i thought i was doing well enough they told me more more more. what can i say to that? no? its not even a thing i can disagree with i just have to sit and take their rebuke and try harder to please them.
I tried getting comfort from friends and ended up just feeling worse. today I crashed and burned. nothing i could do about it but try to ignore it.
I built my little kingdom of comfort, distractions, so i can feel good. but when days like this come i see clearly how weak and pathetic it really is. days like this I see that God holds out his hand acceptingly, and i dont need to try and prove myself to him, and when i crash he is there to pull me out of the fire.